The Galaxy Dollars Soccer Team... The First Game

*Originally Posted April, 2007*

Hello again everyone, and welcome to the, "Galaxy Dollars Soccer Team" blog dealio! Now before we move on, I will quickly recap...The peoples of Galaxy Dollars Coffee decided to start a soccer team. We signed up in a beginners league, that for all we knew was comprised of little kids. We began our soccer training only to find out we stank the joint up... bad. We practiced more only to find that one of our players was going bald...(not sure what that has to do with the story, but it's true.) and that we liked to drink water as much as chai... So now, we will turn another page in the story that's captivating the world---umm... a nation---... a city---hmm... a store? Ahh! The story that's captivating... various friends and strangers! So now we dive in to..."The Galaxy Dollars Soccer Team... The First Game"

We had practiced, we had swat... sweated, whatever. We had even gotten a little bit better. But now was the moment of truth... the first game was here! All of us showed up to the arena ridiculously early to put on their "gear" (i.e. shin-guards, soccer shoes etc.). As for me, I got there early as well, and it turns out it was a good thing too... for as I noticed everyone putting on their "gear", I also noticed that I didn't have "gear" to put on... In fact I looked like a soccer reject. Fortunately for me there was a "soccer pro shop" in which I could buy the things I needed in which to not die on the field. I walked in the door of the pro shop and just stood there... like... well, ...a standing guy. Now, I'd like to tell you that I was soaking up all that soccer "karma" of awesome soccer players past and forgotten, but that would be a lie, so I won't. No the sad truth was, I was standing there in the doorway of the pro shop and two things were on my mind... One: "Should I get the red or the blue shin guards?" and Two: These shorts don't have pockets... so, where is my wallet?" Shortly there after I looked down and thought to myself "blue is more manly-er, I'll go with blue."...and remembered that I had stuck my wallet between my shorts and underpants at the waist just for such an occasion... so all was well.

I bought all the gear I needed, put it on, and paced back and forth in front of my teammates to pretend I was ready. The time was finally here... they called us to the field. Once we got there we quickly realized a differences in teams. For one, they weren't kids... for two, they had jerseys... we had white t-shirts. (But at least that was due to the fact that ours just hadn't come in yet...) For three, they were actually passing the ball to one another... we were not. We were like... hey, it's coming to you! We'd kick it, and it would go the opposite way... and we were like, umm... I did that on purpose. It was a fake out, great for those moments you want to... umm, fake out your opponent... and your teammate.

The game started. As the game progressed we realized more differences between the teams... like their players... they actually knew where to be on the field. As for us, we were like a fluttering butterfly floating all over the field, because we didn't know what the crap we were doing... another thing we noticed was when they would shoot, for one we dove out of the way, but for two their shots were good, hard hit, and... well, really good. Ours? Ya, maybe would trickle an inch or two on the ground while a snail scurried out of the way. After the massacre was over we realized one more thing... I forgot to wear deodorant! j/k... we realized that one player on their team single handedly beat the ever living doughnuts out of us (that is if doughnuts were inside of us, and somehow a living entity). His name I will remember for at least days to come... Renaldo. A short stocky bald man of soccer awesomeness is what he was. Scoring 10 of their 14 points... one might say he was a bit like the Michael Jordan of soccer... that, or we were like the Toronto Raptors of soccer (to all those who don't know, they suck... bad.). No one could tell for sure... but what we could tell for sure was this was going to be a long season...

Check back next time to see if the Galaxy Dollars Soccer Team wins a game, the balding player regains his hair, and if Ben really didn't wear deodorant to the game... these answers and more... next time on, "The Galaxy Dollars Soccer Team" blog dealio!