*Originally Posted November, 2006*
First I'd like to start this off by saying, the story below is NOT fabricated in anyway... I may word things in such a way that you might you chuckle, or perhaps even laugh, but it's still true. So, as you read this story with your loved ones, your pets, or even the fly on the wall... just remember that this story... ya it's all real. Ok, so... read the freakin' story, and enjoy it you sick twisted people!...j/k.
Now it has been my experience that weekends are usually a good thing, a thing that one can look forward to, a time of more fun then the week... But alas, that was not the case for the weekend in question. This is that fateful story...
It all started on a Saturday night, I was bored sitting on my couch watching football when it all started to unfold..."Party Thrower A" came through the door with some Party go-ers, and Party Thrower A's care-taker (Mom), who was carrying a paper bag full of "fire water" (Booze). I immediately got a little concerned, but "Party Thrower A" (who is 18) asked me to trust him, and with his care-taker being there I thought I had nothing to worry about, so I did... an unwise decision. So instead of questioning him I just cocked my brow, and changed for work. And left for work shortly there after.
As I recall the night at work was not a pleasant one, my now former Store Manager (AKA, Mr. FOCUS BEN RICHARDSON FOCUS face) was working his last shift before being promoted to District Manager... and was not in what one might call a pleasant mood. Now seeing as this was his last shift, I had to nag him to get me my set of Shift Supervisor keys... you know I need to do my job! Anyway, finally about 15 minutes before close he finally gave them to me. I tried letting him know how much I appreciated this and everything he'd done etc, etc... but he didn't really want to listen... so I pretty much was like, well then pal, screw you... and finished the night. Then, well... I went home. After I got home I decided to hide the new keys in my car so no one would find them. I hid them inside the car and headed inside the building. (What? It sounded good in my head!)
As I neared the apartment door I could hear the sound of crap going on in the apartment... I braced myself and headed inside. Once inside I was hit with a barrage of inebriated people, most of which I didn't know (this I am fine with) I also had noticed some people that had infatuations with faces (or at least their mouths). Some of these instances were hetero, and some of them were homo (this made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but I'm still good). I walk a little farther to discover 15 year olds drunk off their ass... that was it. I immediately put an end to the juvenile inebriation, and quickly started trying to get people in a state in which they could leave the premises. Now because there were both sheep and wolves in the apartment, and by sheep I mean girls, and by wolves I mean boys... I decided that I would need to make sure that all was well before I crashed for the evening, unless I wanted to buy a new couch (if you know what I mean). Unfortunately, the time that "all was well" was 5:00am... I woke up about 11:00am and decided that I would go to lunch with my friends, while "Party Thrower A" and his "buddies" were in the apartment. And by buddies I mean... well, more than buddies.
Since I was now in a festive mood I put on a Bob Marley wig, and a top that my new Strongbad beanie, and I was off to eat Chinese... things were going good. That was until I got to my car. I walk up to my car humming a little hum, and walking like a Jamaican. But when I opened my door and looked inside... I had been robbed!!! I darted for where I hid the keys, but they were gone, among other things of value... including my CD player, and The Killers new album that was in it... needless to say I was not a happy camper. I called the company I work for and alerted them of the what had happened... I quickly received a call from the "former Store Manager" wanting to know what happened and at times almost blaming me for them being stolen... All I have to say about this is... not cool pal-bert, not cool. I looked around the parking lot and found that 2 other cars had been robbed as well... So, as one might deduce between the party, and the burglary my weekend bit the "big one". Well, thanks for reading... check back for more festive reading later. It will be festive...I promise.
No comments:
Post a Comment