Can You Repeat That?

*Originally Posted May, 2006*

Ok, so... I recently acquired a credit card. Not to use irresponsibly mind you, but to build my credit to even greater heights! Well, when I activated my card a few weeks ago I got a rather hard to understand middle-eastern women... Now I'm not racist, but I was having difficulty hearing this women... So I did what any person trying to be polite would do. Push the phone closer to my ear, in hopes that that millimeter will somehow be the difference between, "Can you repeat that?" and, "Oh, uh-huh."...Unfortunately, not even that millimeter could save me this time. I tried desperately to understand what she was saying, but I always found myself saying, "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?". Now, I didn't know it at the time, but her mouth had to have an overdrive button, or something... because after the activation of the card she starts spouting off like 5 trillion words per second, it was crazy! All I remember hearing was, "Next I am going to talk to you about the Payment Protector Plan..." and she was off! The next thing I remember hearing was, "Aright?"...In my head I was thinking, "Man, I did not understand a word she just said, except for Payment Protector Plan... I should ask her to repeat that--but gee wiz, I don't want to go through all that again..." So, what came out was, "Oh, uh-huh."

Well, that brings us to today... I had looked up what the "Payment Protector Plan" was, and decided that I didn't think it was for me. So, I called up the credit card company to cancel it... I'm telling you, I would have had an easier time hugging a porcupine... After battling the automated help line, I finally get a human! Now, one would think that the task that I set out to do would be easier once I reach a human, but no... not for me. I tell the lady what I want to do...

In reply she says, "Well, why do you want to do that?" like she's shocked that I would even think up such a terrible thing...

I stated my reasons and repeated that, "I would please like to cancel it."

I guess maybe she thought I sounded unsure of my decision, because she went back on the war-path... "Now sir, I myself have this, and let me tell you, it's great! And!...(Like I'm supposed to get excited)...if you die your spouse will not have to pay for up to $25,000 of you debt!"

...Like I'm really supposed to get excited about the thought of me dying... give me a break. So with one last gust-o, if you will, I rendered this statement, "Listen, I'm single... I have no spouse, or kids. I'm 21, I'm young, and even though I know that everyone thinks their not not going to die young, I really believe I'm not. So, I would still like to cancel."

One would think I had won. But no... she had one last punch, "Well sir, I'm young too and I really like it"

I said, "Well, I'm glad it works for you, but I just don't feel I need it right now. Now please cancel it." And finally, after what seemed like hours...I had won. yay for me. Well aright, more later...