Jerks and Headaches...Their Common Thread

*Originally Posted February, 2006*

Hello to all! Well, it would seem at long last the sun has graced us with its presence... and I for one thank it for doing so. (I just thought I'd throw that in here). I'm pretty sure you don't care, but whatever, there it is... So I know you're all wondering what do jerks and headaches have in common? And don't worry, I'm not going to leave you hanging... I mean come on, it's me. Sadly, I am the common thread that pieces these things together. I don't know if it's because of the snow, or if people lately just wake up and think, "Gee, I think I'll be a huge jerk-face today!" But whatever the case is, they have been jerks.

Aright so... Today I needed some stuff from the store, and I needed to put my checks in the bank. So I went to the Piggly Wiggly (a local supermarket that's known for bring run down), in the name of convenience... All because it's across the street from my bank. Let me tell you this now... never shop there! For one: Everything is WAY over priced! I mean if you like throwing your money in a trash bag, by all means shop there! But if you don't...run, run vary far away from the Piggly Wiggly... For two: When I get to the check out, the cashier is a "bundle of joy"...which is kinda funny because her name was actually "Joy". lol...

Anyways, I was trying to buy some frozen entree type deals that were on sale for 88 cents each... But when they rung up I saw that they were ringing up at $1.76.

So I politely tell Joy, "Excuse me miss, these (pointing to my frozen entrees) were on sale for 88 cents."

Joy quickly states, "No, that's only on the dinners! ...And you didn't get the dinners!"

Well, there happened to be a huge poster in the window next to us that clearly stated the sale price right on it... So I proceed to tell her, "No, ma'am it says these (once again pointing to my entrees) are on sale, see." ...and I pointed to the sign in the window.

She goes crazy! "I'm telling you sir! These are NOT the ones on sale!"

A manager quickly comes over, and after some random crap from Joy... looks at the poster in the window and states, "Joy, I believe the customer is right."

To which she goes even more crazy, "Why the hell did you put me on register anyway! Huh?!"

He exasperatingly replied, "You know, I'm not sure."

He quickly apologized for her behavior (even though she was still standing right there), and asked if I was satisfied with the outcome.

I thought about saying, "only if you fire her"...But I didn't. I said, "yes"

I then went on my marry way... But let me tell you, that's the last time I go there! Sheesh!

That brings us to later in the day... I'm on my way to work (and I might throw in that I'm on pace to be early), and I'm mosey-ing down the Broadway Extension (a local highway in Oklahoma City) when things come to a complete halt! I mean we're not even close to the construction that's going on up ahead, so I don't why the heck these morons aren't moving... Minutes, and minutes pass by, and we barely move! So I get off at the first exit I come to, in hopes that I can still get to work on time. Oh, but that's just too much to ask I guess... Not only did I hit almost every red light, but I think I got stuck behind every crap face in the metro area!

So I finally get to work... late! (which I'm never late, so it ticked me off a bit) So the night goes on...Things finally get better, my mood improves and so on and so forth. Then it happens... I bend down to pick up some loose change on the floor, and when I get up I hit my head really hard on the corner of the register! I thought I was fine, and started to walk it off... Then I got really light headed... I leaned against the counter, then one of my co-workers got me a chair to sit on... After a while I was good again... Well, with the exception of two things... One, I had a giant headache. and two, I couldn't remember certain things. I, for one, thought I was AdamSandler... So that was my first idea that something might be wrong... For two, I started answering the drive-thru, "Hi welcome to.... umm ... wherever you are". So then I was almost certain something was wrong...Then I couldn't remember the name of the regular that had just come in... Which was weird because I just called her by her name not even 5 minutes ago. Then the roof started caving in, and Ziggy Stardust came through singing "Suffragette City"! And... ok, ok, just kidding on that last part. Finally, my co-workers came to the conclusion that I had gotten a case of selected amnesia...You know though... I still can't think of that ladies name... It's driving me nuts! Well, whatever...